Dear publishers, agents, reviewers, etc,
I think we need to talk. I had hoped that this wasn’t a conversation that we would ever need to have, but I’m not sure it can wait anymore. It’s the elephant in the room, publishing industry. Something that must be addressed before another day passes.
I have yet to see my name on those book shelves. I go to Barnes and Noble. Nothing. Amazon search? Turns up zero results. Not even the public library has any record of me.
I thought it was pretty simple, publishing industry. I write something brilliant, you publish it. We both win. Where is this disconnect happening? How can we fix this?
Don’t you remember how I won that contest in the third grade? I won best story in the entire state of Iowa. For third graders, anyway. There are a lot of people in Iowa. More corn, but still a respectable number of people. I just looked up the population of Iowa, and there are over three million of us. And lots of those are third graders. I mean, it’s a pretty big deal. The story was about an anthropomorphic tooth named Jenny that fell out of her host’s mouth and went on an epic adventure. That’s what the cartoon tagline would be: Small tooth, epic adventure. I don’t think I knew the word epic when I was in third grade, but that’s beside the point.
The point is that twenty years ago, the public was introduced to a promising young author, and they are still waiting. Waiting for ME, publishing industry. I think that together we can put together a story that will outshine even the planned (and never completed) sequel to Jenny the Tooth, where Jenny ends up in a museum. It was to be called Jenny the Tooth in the Museum. Third graders are not very creative in titling things.
So let’s work together and make this happen. Querying will start again in the next few months, and I’ll need you all on your best game. We can do it. Go team!