Dating and Querying: A comparison

I know I’m not the first person to look at the road towards getting an agent and adventures in dating and see creepy similarities between the two. It really makes a lot of sense when you think about it. In both instances, you are trying to begin what is sure to be an extremely intimate relationship, based on mutual trust and respect, and both parties must be equally invested in order to make it work. Have secured neither a life partner nor an agent, I get a lot of advice and comments from others about both processes. Mostly they are trying to be helpful, but usually I just find them amusing. Some examples, you say? But of course!

When talking about finding the right person/agent:
“It’ll happen when the time is right!”
“It only takes one!”
“I knew this person who was 59 before they found their soul mate and they couldn’t be happier!” or “I read this article about a person who was rejected 400 times and now they have 5971 bestsellers!”
“Everyone has different tastes, it’s very subjective.”
“What’s right for you might not be what’s right for them.”

With the exception of the third one up there, most of those could be used interchangeably to talk about dating or querying.

And when it comes to responses, mostly form rejections from agents, the phrases that are used could be taken out of a “how to break up” handbook.
“I don’t feel that I am the right person for this.”
“You deserve someone who is just as passionate as you are.”
“You have many positive qualities, keep going and you’ll find the right person.”
“It seemed interesting at first, but I just didn’t fall in love.”
“I was looking for something unique that just wasn’t there.”
“It’s not you, it’s me. Another person may feel differently.”

Sometimes it helps to laugh about it. I told a friend I can only handle one type of rejection at a time, otherwise I get confused, so writing it is!

And remember, you WILL find that special someone. You just have to keep looking.

Special props to Stephanie Funk (@SV_Funk) whose vlog comparing querying to dating continues to make me laugh every time I watch it. (Click it. You know you want to. Okay, don’t, I will just put it right below here to make it easy on you…)

I know. I have posted it before. But it’s gold. Maybe I’ll post it again tomorrow. Only time will tell.

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